When I have expectations about something,
what Iím doing is trying to control the outcome of some situation. That causes anxiety. I
create a constant state of agitation by attempting to control the OUTCOME. I
also have to control each aspect leading to that outcome - every word, movement,
the ambiance, people and feelings involved, etc.
Itís like being in constant crisis mode.
Also, the outcome is most of the time, not
going to be what I expect or try to control and that causes even more anxiety -
anxiety partly when the outcome is different than I expect (and thus
disappointing to me), but also anxiety during my attempts to control. This happens because I am experienced enough in this to know
what Iím doing when Iím doing it and cognitively aware that I really have NO
CONTROL over the outcome!
So, all that anxiety is counter-productive
to any level of serenity, hence... Expectation goes up and serenity goes down.
The way I get out of this cycle is by
working the 3rd step... giving my will and my life over to the care
of ... (God, Goddess, Buddha, Mother Nature, Universal Spirit... ???) HP. :)
Really, by relinquishing my will on a
situation I achieve serenity. Certainly
I have wants and needs, and itís important in my growth to acknowledge them.
My job is to do the next right thing.
This means taking action by following the voice of Goddess within me and
trusting in her guidance of my life. If I have faith that my needs will be met
and the best thing for me will be the outcome and if itís not good for me,
Goddess will give me the strength to survive and make better choices next time,
then I have serenity.
Thatís how serenity works in my life.