No Crosstalk

I can appreciate what you are going through.  I suspect the Group Conscience has voted on a strict no-crosstalk rule (no nodding, laughing, handing out of tissues, of course, no patting another when there are tears).   I had a hard time initially with the concept of being 'emotionless' as well.   I found it very stifling at first, but later, I grew into the notion of giving myself and another the emotional headspace (by closing my own mouth and my raucous snorts) that fosters clear thinking and feeling.  ;)

Deep, profound healing can occur when I emit to the spiritual void, namely because I can hear myself think/talk.  When I can hear myself talk, I can focus on myself (my thinking and feeling)-- not anyone else's thinking or feeling.  This provides me with a cathartic experience unlike anything I receive in the 'outside' world, or in my family of origin. 

Therefore, having peace in a meeting, and no verbal response, can be a profoundly spiritual experience.  It's like having a GREAT LISTENER ready at hand.  That's what the no crosstalk rule does for me.  Gives me the mental and emotional space to, as we say in the Format for Sharing at my meeting, 'share without the concern of how others think, feel, react, or respond.'    All to often, I've seen it otherwise-- people needing/wanting attention waiting for response to their joke, funny anecdote, etc.  People always seem to want to get the laughs.   It then becomes a dialogue (or one-person show) in which the focus is on relating socially or entertaining, which, I personally, like to save for *after* the meeting.  That's when the real fun begins-- FELLOWSHIPPING!    ;) 

Alternately, if my group is laughing at something I say or agreeing with an 'mmm' that resonates with them during my share, it now annoys me, because then the supposed sacred space becomes an implicit dialogue.  I am not talking to anyone, nor eliciting a response-- I am sharing to the spiritual void.   The deep silence from the group gives me a feeling of being heard that I never received in my childhood.

Ultimately, I and others are human, and I/we in my meetings will from time to time guffaw, snort, spit, etc....   but if the overall scene is one of still peace and quiet, I say it's a very respectful and healing way to treat myself and others.   Good listening boundaries help me feel listened to and, consequently, loved.  Nice bonus!!

The Crosstalk section of the Fellowship Service Manual is a brief, but good resource.  I like the Newcomer's Handbook section on crosstalk.  And this is the new offer from the website:

Experiences with Crosstalk (NEW)

A resource of our group struggle with what crosstalk is and how to deal with it.  Recovering codependents share their experiences.

 
Tracey