|
codependent behaviours: |
healthy antidote behaviours: |
|
empathizing, feeling like |
feeling my feelings |
|
worrying about |
not worrying about (or for) others |
|
pitying |
respecting |
|
helping |
helping only when I want to |
|
caretaking |
taking care of myself |
|
fixing, rescuing |
letting others experience their own consequences |
|
protecting |
acknowledging others' abilities to take care of selves |
|
defending |
letting others defend themselves |
|
interfering |
minding my own business |
|
rationalizing, justifying |
seeing others' behaviour honestly |
|
excusing |
letting others be accountable for their actions |
|
sacrificing for |
taking care of my own needs first |
|
being a martyr |
not giving my life away for anyone |
|
avoiding |
confronting |
|
distancing, withdrawing from |
being accessible, approaching others |
|
withholding from |
giving happily when I want to |
|
giving the silent treatment |
listening and responding |
|
minimizing or denying my feelings |
valuing and owning my feelings |
|
pretending, deceiving, or lying |
voicing my feelings and opinions honestly |
|
manipulating |
asking for what I want |
|
controlling |
letting others make their own choices |
|
teasing |
complementing |
|
shaming |
honouring |
|
criticizing, judging |
appreciating, accepting |
|
blaming |
taking responsibility for my own life |
|
resenting |
forgiving |
|
being hostile |
being kind |
|
cursing, raging |
expressing my anger appropriately w/out attacking |
|
hating |
loving |
|
punishing, abusing |
disciplining fairly, and only when appropriate |
|
discounting, ignoring |
respecting, acknowledging others |
|
neglecting, abandoning |
fulfilling commitments, even when difficult |
|
being passive |
taking action |
|
acting helpless or powerless |
using my abilities and power constructively |
|
acting like a victim |
not letting others take advantage of me |
|
being bitter |
letting go of the past |
|
fearing |
being courageous |
|
being vigilant, on guard, wary of |
being self-confident |
|
pleasing |
pleasing myself |
|
appeasing |
fighting for my rights appropriately |
|
enmeshing |
being independent in my feelings and choices |
|
needing |
enjoying others while being self-sufficient |
|
(c) 1999, 2000 by Tim A.
(NYC) - This checklist may be copied as often as desired for
non-profit uses only, |
|