Self Knowledge

CoDA began my road to self knowledge.

What do I think? What do I feel? What do I want? I learned I had a lot of feelings that were never allowed to exist without the fear of being shamed, ignored or punished. I learned to seek support from strong members who constantly encouraged me to feel my feelings, speak my truth and to keep coming back. CoDA members listened to me, helped me to experience what I thought, what I felt and what I wanted. Sometimes all I knew was what I didn't want. I also learned I had no knowledge of boundaries. Once I realized I lacked boundaries about basic self care it was my job to communicate to the best of my ability and then seek support from my CoDA family for the huge risks that I was now taking but never could before. They were helping me to finally grow up and become the woman I was meant to be.

The steps are how I find out what I want, what I feel and what I think. They are invaluable to me. The relationship I have with my sponsor and my sponsees is priceless for me to see those honest reflections in the mirror without distorting or bending it to be what someone else wants me to be.

I used to not take risks for fear of failure, other\'s anger or hurting other\'s feelings. Now it is like I have to risk, in order to feel alive and grow. I will forever be a grateful member of this wonderful program called Codependents Anonymous.

Barb R.