Co-NNections® is the on-line newsletter of Co-Dependents Anonymous, Inc. (CoDA) bringing you original stories, poems, and cartoons from CoDA members about their journeys through recovery.

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Disclaimer:

Articles published in Co-NNections® reflect the,  opinions and beliefs of the writers only, and not necessarily those of Co-NNections®, its staff, or Co-Dependents Anonymous, Inc.

Words of Wisdom

I Am Aware.

Wow, what a statement, what a topic!

Today, In This Moment, I am Aware.

I am aware of the changing seasons, (within and without).

I am aware of my need for recovery.

I am aware of tools I have been neglecting.

I am aware of my need to finish my art school program.

I am aware of the deadline is next month.

I am aware of my need to restart work on my thesis.

I'm aware of things beyond all this was far too long untended.

I am aware today, in this moment of my need for personal space.

I am aware I am in need of further steps, longer recovery.

I am aware in this moment of the blessing of mindfulness and awareness continued and strengthened by my recovery.

I am aware and I am grateful I have found this new part of my path.

 

Marina (September 2011)

 

 

Today is the first day of the rest of my life. I shall live it happily without shame or guilt.

Submitted By:
Mary M.

2011

(A Collection of sayings heard at meetings)

 

Q. Why did the codependent fail geography?

A. Couldn't distinguish any boundaries.

Submitted By
Anonymous
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"Be here NOW!"

"Don't go there 'til you get there."

"Keep my head and my seat in the same place."

"Learn to look back without staring and look forward without living there."

"Get on with life here and now."

"I have the right to enjoy today!"

Submitted By
Edmond Study Group
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Thinking is not action. Service is essential.

Submitted By
Anonymous
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Finding Direction - 180 degree from sick is still sick.

Submitted By

Michelle
-----------------------------------

Never make someone a priority when they consider you an option.


There are things that we don't want to happen but have to accept,
things we don't want to know but have to learn,
and people we can't live without but have to let go.


Submitted By
Mike P.
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2010

God show me your will and show me the way.
F.M.
 

The way I heard it: You are only as SICK as your SECRETS.
Submitted by
Bruce O.
May, 2010

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Doing service with codependents, tweaks my serenity.
Submitted by
Barbara

--------------------------------

The only way out is through.
Submitted by
Ava S.

------------------------------

I’d rather be loathed for who I am, then loved for who I am not.
Submitted by
Helgo S-M

------------------------------

A Stress Reliever…
Do the following when feeling stress…
Inhale, Exhale – Ahhh… Inhale, Exhale… Ahhh!
Submitted by
Jeri S.

---------------------------------

Each day admit one unpleasant truth.
Submitted by
Kim K.

-----------------------------

Do one thing scary each day – Eleanor Roosevelt
Submitted by
Myralynn T.

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Where you are is where you’re going, unless you change direction.
Submitted by
Salle

-----------------------------

There is only internal serenity.
There is no external security.
Submitted by
Jenny B.

-------------------------------------------

Codependency is:
When I expect you to figure out what I want and what I need or when I know what you want and what you need.
Interdependency is:
knowing what I want and need and asking you for it.
Submitted by
Kathy L.

----------------------------------

TEARS = Ice around my heart melting
Submitted by
Unknown

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N U T S
Not
Using
The
Steps
Submitted by
Unknown
July, 2009

----------------------------------

Forgiveness isn’t forgetting; it’s letting go of the pain.
Submitted by
Unknown

----------------------------------

Where focus goes, energy flows. Focus on gratitude!
Submitted by
Unknown

----------------------------------

Got to feel to heal.
Submitted by
Unknown

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Everything happens for a reason. Just find the reason.
Submitted by
Unknown

----------------------------------

Codependent = A human doer instead of a human being.
Submitted by
Unknown

----------------------------------

Keeping It Simple…
Step 1 = I can’t
Step 2 = God or HP can
Step 3 = I think I will let him.
Submitted by
Unknown

----------------------------------

Seek first to understand, not to be understood
Submitted by
Unknown

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Acceptance does not mean I have to like it.
Submitted by
Unknown
July, 2009

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Blessed are those who go around in circles,
for they shall be known as wheels.
Submitted by
Unknown

----------------------------------

Progress is our most important problem.
Submitted by
Unknown

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Nothing is so great that it can’t be solved.
Submitted by
Unknown

----------------------------------
2008

Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass...
It's about learning to dance in the rain. 
Submitted by
Harry

----------------------------------

Peace within you never happens without you.
Submitted by
Salle

----------------------------------

Once you have been in CoDA a while, it becomes easier to think of your mistakes as just a growth opportunity.
Submitted by
Anonymous

----------------------------------
2005


Don’t give up 5 minutes before the miracle
Submitted by
Kathie

------------------------

Never go to the desert for water.
We have two choices "hang on or fall off. Which will you choose?
Submitted by
Nancy Lynn P.

------------------------

If you can't practice these principles in all your affairs, you have too many affairs.
You can't keep what you won't give away
Justifying by saying "yeah, but" is simply a way to avoid the simplicity of direction or action.
My best thinking got me here.
Submitted by
Camilla

------------------------

H-A-L-T-S (don't forget the S!)
Don't get too Hungry - Angry - Lonely - Tired - SERIOUS
Submitted by
Alison

------------------------

Don't quit before your miracle!
Submitted by
Barbara S.

------------------------

Finding a man later in life is like a box of chocolates.
All the good ones are taken
All that's left are the lemons and the nuts.
whatever...
Submitted by
Nancy R.

------------------------

Just because someone tosses you a ball doesn't mean you have to catch it
Submitted by
Margaret B.

------------------------

I can be of no use to others if I don't take of myself first.
I do not want to pass on the cycle of dysfunction; it ends with me!
Submitted by
Tonette A.

------------------------

Tear are liquid prays.
 I can't. He (Higher Power) can. So I will let him.
 Don't go to the hardware store for bread.
 Rejection is God s protection.
Submitted by
Gershia
------------------------

Weeping may endure for the night but' joy cometh in the morning
with GOD all things are possible
Submitted by
Toni

------------------------
 

2004


Progress, NOT Perfection
Submitted by
Amber F

----------------------------------

All is alright in the end. If it's not alright, it's not the end.
Submitted by
Erin Q.

----------------------------------

As a human being I care about him/her, but as an ex-girlfriend/boyfriend, I despise her/him.
Submitted by
Elena L.

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1. In a meeting on powerlessness and the 1st step, someone said, Sometimes you are powerless over the parking at the store.
2. My Higher Power was there, I was missing.
3. I came with a "hole" in the insides, and now after working the steps, I am "WHOLE".
4. Now I have a roadmap, before CoDA I was driving in circles
5. When my Higher Power has the plan, I don't need one.
Submitted by
Judith S.

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Coming into CoDA, I have been made aware. Before CoDA, it was like I was drowning , and I never knew I was in the pool
Submitted by
John C

----------------------------------

If it ain't broke, fix it till it is.
Submitted by
Joy

----------------------------------

What you think of me is none of my business.
What I think of me .... now, that's my business.
Submitted by
Gaylord

----------------------------------

We, as codependents, want we cannot have and do everything in our power to get it and then lose what we do have.
Submitted by
Julie M.

----------------------------------

An effective boundary does not depend upon compliance by an outside party.
Submitted by
Jim W.

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MY BILL OF RIGHTS
I have the right to be treated with respect.
I have the right to say no and not feel guilty.
I have the right to experience and express my feelings.
I have the right to take time for myself.
I have the right to change my mind.
I have the right to ask for what I want.
I have the right to ask for information.
I have the right to do less than I am humanly capable of.
I have the right to make mistakes.
I have the right to feel good about myself.
I have the right to act only in ways that promote my dignity and self-respect, as long as others are not violated in the process.
Submitted by
Bonnie Z.

----------------------------------

Yeah, living with your Mother is like pouring "Miracle Grow" on our character defects".
Submitted by
Lynne M.

----------------------------------

I describe him as: Someone who would take his shirt off his back for you,
but will tell you how to wear it
Submitted by
Unknown

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1. The only limitations that exist in life are the one's we create for ourselves.
2. Now is life's answer for living.
3. Our paths in life follow God's footprints.
4. Sanity resides in letting go.
Submitted by
Burton S.

----------------------------------

When you're going through Hell ... DON'T STOP !

My dreams come from God, and God has the power to accomplish them.

No!, Yes!, Oh?, WoW!, Whatever. (safe replies)

Argument = a mad dash between 2 people for the victims spot.

God Loves Me ...
... not because of anything I am,
... not because of anything I've done,
... but because of the kind of God He is.

Guilt is, I made a mistake.
Shame is, I AM a mistake.

The acronym for EGO --- Edging God Out

Do the thing you fear the most, and the death of fear is certain.

Shame = feelings, and feelings = thoughts ... and thoughts can be changed.

Good
Orderly
Direction

Here's the difference between can't and won't;
If you can't, God can.
If you won't, nobody can.

Suffering in life is necessary ... the misery is optional.

Today the light at the end of the tunnel is NOT a freight train.

Apologize for actions.
Don't apologize for feelings.

Character defects are things we know are wrong.
Shortcomings are things we've never been taught are wrong.

God won't give me more than I can handle, but He may give me more than I can control.

H-A-L-T = Hungry, Angry, Lonely, Tired

I judge myself on my good intentions -- the rest of the world judges me on my performance.

Courage is ... fear with prayer.

Depression is just anger w/o enthusiasm.
Submitted by
Gaylord in Alaska

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-The distance from the problem to the solution is the same as my knees to the floor!
-If in doubt, don't!
-The best prayer is Help!
-The best meditation is thank you!
Submitted by
Laura S.

----------------------------------

Expectations are pre-meditated Resentments
Submitted by
Ed W.

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  2003


"HOW"
Honesty ---- Step 1 - “admitted”
Openness --- Step 2 – “came to believe”
Willingness --- Step 3 – “made a decision”

I have issues – it’s you, it’s you, it’s you (“its yous”).

Attitude of Gratitude

Forgive: give something else for/give something else instead of

A codependent is an egomaniac with an inferiority complex.

Codependents’ Motto: “Without you, I am not me.”

This too shall pass.

One day at a time.

Turn it over.

I can't, God can. I think I'll let Him (or Her).

God doesn't close one door without opening another.

Keep it simple.

But for the grace of God, there go I.

People helping people.

BIBLE = Basic Instructions Before Leaving Earth.

Just for today.

Everything happens for a reason.

You are right where you are supposed to be.

Time takes time.

Put one foot in front of the other.

Think, think, think.

Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.

You reap what you sow.

Courage is not the absence of fear, but the ability to overcome it.

Being willing to risk being wrong.

You can’t talk your way out of something you acted your way into.

Living Amends are when I change my behavior.

I now see red flags when I used to only see green lights.

What you miss in the 4th step, you can clean up in the 10th step.

Seek interior silence.

The mind is a dangerous neighborhood; don’t go in alone.

If you have a resentment for someone, pray for them for 15 (or 30) days. Pray that they receive what you want.

It feeds me, and I need to be fed.

I’ve suffered from many hardships in my life, many of which have never happened.

“Good morning, God,” instead of “Good God, it’s morning.”

Thy will be done.

Thy will, not my will. (re: Step 11)

Just do the next right thing. That’s God’s will.

Trust God. Clean House. Help Others.

I hid in relationships so I didn’t have to deal with me.

You are the only person you will ever love who will never leave you.

I’m a human being, not a human doing.

Step 1 is good for me because it’s a chance to start over.

I need to take Step 2 when ever I feel FAP – fear, anger, or pain.

You can fire your old God.

My glasses are covered with low self-esteem and everything I see is coated with that. (from a CoDA meeting)

Sometimes, having a higher power is like having a good friend. Yes, we’re good friends. We’ve known each other for years – I just don’t call.

What they told me when I began in CoDA was to come to at least six meetings and then if I decided this program wasn’t for me, they’d “cheerfully refund my misery.”

The best guarantee for your future is to live today really well.

God is a gentleman and he doesn’t come in unless you ask him.

A 12-step meeting is a lot like an orgy – You leave feeling really good but you’re not sure who to thank.”
Submitted by
Michelle N.

----------------------------------

CODA = Counting On Divine Assistance
Submitted by
V.C.

----------------------------------

Eat when you are hungry...sleep when tired...radical idea
God, I want, and think I need the following, without being needy:
Time, touch, availability, attention, acceptance to grow up, self esteem, self acknowledgment, intimacy, appropriate sex, travel, another change, massage, exercise, music, dance, less busyness, feedback when I ask for it, peer support, family support, meetings, co-sponsors, honest direct communications, better God sense, better program, walk the walk, grandkids, sons-daughters in laws--perfect onesless unsolicited advise, fewer rules, permission to break rules, humor, therapy, not to make long lists
thanks for any that you will for me
Submitted by
Dan D

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Let Go...Or Be Dragged
Submitted by
Karen J.

----------------------------------

Would a normal person be angry?
Anger is not a character defect, it is how you use it.
Submitted by
Abbey K.

----------------------------------

Don't quit before your miracle
The only way through the pain is through it
God don't make no junk
Fear is a four letter word
Submitted by
Barbara S.

----------------------------------

Feel the fear, and do it anyway.
Submitted by
Mary D.

----------------------------------

You don't know until you KNOW
I hear what you say, but I believe what you do
You can't until you CAN
Submitted by
Ronnie B.

----------------------------------

If I stop people-pleasing, people will not be pleased.
Submitted by
V.C.

----------------------------------

In recovery I admit I learned a different game, and become willing to learn the real one.
Submitted by
V.C.

----------------------------------
  2002

 You can't get a loaf of bread from a hardware store.
Awareness without change is only a game.
Submitted by Ann M.

Sometimes I have to remind myself that I'm seeking serenity, not control.
Intelligence is better than pride.
Fall down 7 times and stand up 8
Submitted by Allison F.

In January I received my 11 year medallion for Coda. Three of the most important "words of wisdom" that I have gotten out of CoDA are:
1. No is a complete sentence!
2. I teach people how to treat me.
3. When something bad or very difficult happens in my life, there is always something to be grateful for.
Thank you!
Sue F.

Feel is the same as flee. I just need to remember to rearrange the letters.
Submitted by Bill S.

I have more to fear by being afraid.
Submitted by Chris W.

I'm not in the figuring out business.
Submitted by Euna H.

2001

What someone else thinks of me is none of my business.
Submitted by, RM

With my Higher Power's help, everything that is possible, is possible.
submitted by Carole D

The only meeting you are late for is the one where you miss the closing prayer.
Submitted by, RM

Our serenity level is inversely proportionate to our level of expectation.
Submitted by Racquel M.

Life is how YOU change it
Submitted by Denise

When I share in meetings, It is my job to open my mouth and say the first word and then leave the rest to God.
Heard in an Ohio meeting

2000

In the midst of Chaos, I stayed focused and centered.
I forgive myself for my past behavior.
Even Ray Charles can see that!
He/She has a deadly walking disease that I cannot afford to catch.
God's timing is perfect: He is never too early, He is never too late!
He is right on time!
Oh Woman of God...Rise Up!
A Healthy self image pays dividends!
Submitted by, Jan S.

"Loose lips sink ships"
Submitted by Margaret P.

"If nothing changes, nothing changes."
At the 2000 Convention

Assume nothing.
This too shall pass.
Assume nothing for this too shall pass!
There is no where you can go where God is not.
The only question is veracity, not origin.
If we lead by fear, judgment, or the calculating mind, we cannot see correctly.
God refuses to be known except by love.
Faith gives us a kind of extraordinary dignity.
My first job is to know myself, which takes immense courage and humility.
For the most part, all our trials and disturbances come from our not understanding ourselves.
I have done what is mine to do; now you must do what is yours to do.
Submitted by Sharon C.

Don't go to the hardware store for a loaf of bread.
Submitted by Lisa

Additional submissions can be found by selecting one of the topics located on the top, left-hand side of this page.